Stress (NOVEMBER 2018)
“Stress” was born out of frustration. I had lost hope and had accepted that a relationship I was in felt like it was over before it even started. The will-they-won’t-they relationship is a cliche, and maybe for good reason, because I feel like many of the people in my life have been through it. I felt this unbearable weight, as if I wasn’t good enough for the person I wanted. I kept thinking they might want me too, but because of who they were, because of who I am, we couldn’t figure it out and it was killing me. It was this nebulous middle ground. I wanted to capture that sadness, and that anger, but more than that, I wanted to show the range of emotions women feel during the loss of love that aren’t just the sadness of heartbreak. What came out of it is a song that, to me, feels like the moment after you’re done crying and you just have to laugh and yell and roll your eyes a little.
Ultimately in the end of the song, I’m fed up. I want the situation to be over, so we can both move on. Making that decision is difficult, but you have to make the tough call sometimes. It’s a necessary heartbreak. Ultimately, it’s the healthy choice. At least, for me it was.
TERRIBLY TRUE (MARCH 2018)
“Terribly True” was inspired when I realized that it wasn’t the person I was seeing who I was in love with – it was the idea of being in love itself. I was trying so hard to make them happy that I forgot to check in with myself and my truth. What I found when I finally did was so painful to come to terms with... I think everyone feels that at some point, and it’s really hard to articulate when you feel like the antagonist of your own story. It’s also hard to admit that you’ve been lying to yourself, but I think there’s importance in the act of admitting that out loud and sitting in that feeling for a moment. It’s a very vulnerable place, and vulnerability is my favourite place to write from.